What is one thing you’d like to change about the world?
I wish humans could figure out another way to operate other than strict capitalism and an endless growth mindset. It just creates so much inequality and seems unsustainable.

What is one thing you do well?
Sing! I also have a pretty uncanny ability to remember lyrics. I’ll often find myself singing a seemingly random song - then the challenge is to trace it back. Usually there was a word or phrase someone has said that reminded me of a song lyric - and I was off to the races!

What is one thing you do not do so well?
Lose. Ever since I was little I was a really sore loser. Like, very annoyingly so. It’s some­thing that I’ve worked on a lot over the years. But, I still get too intense about board games sometimes. It’s not cool to be 40 and have your mom tell you to “stop whining so much!” during what should be a fun and relaxing game of Wingspan. I’m still working on it!

What talent would you most like to have?
I would love to be able to dance ballet. I never even considered it as a kid (it was too “girly”) but now as an adult I’ve come to really enjoy watching ballet and dance. I would love to feel the feeling of jumping so high, twirling so fast, and practicing such intricate work and artistic expression with a partner. Alas, I think karate is as close as I’ll get. There are a lot of similarities when you think about it!

Other than Chicago, where have you most enjoyed spending time?
I really enjoyed spending time in Vienna, as it seemed to scratch an “ancestral home­sickness” that I didn’t even know I had. I would like to go back to Austria and get more out in the mountains/hills, which is where my dad spent a good part of his childhood. I’ve enjoyed visiting Japan (although I wish I was older when I went - I didn’t even eat sushi at the time!) and Iceland. But I think my favorite vacation has to be Copenhagen. You can ride everywhere safely on a bike, there’s great food, great art & architecture, and the people are very friendly. And, although I have studied a bit of Danish on Duolingo, thankfully pretty much everyone there speaks English.

What is your most treasured possession?
Videos (and pictures) that I have of my friend Tommy. He passed away in 2018. As time passes and I start to forget little things about him, watching videos helps me remember and feel his spirit. Pretty much all of my other possessions are replaceable - those videos are not.

What is a book that has been significant to you?
I was an English Lit major in college so I love all the classics. More recently, Lincoln in the Bardo blew my mind, and I love George Saunders’ short stories as well. But the book that probably had the most tangible impact on my life is Clarissa Pinkola Estés’ The Women Who Run With the Wolves. It is a book that uses analysis of fables/fairy tales to explore various aspects of womens’ lives- their psyches, instincts, life challenges, traps, initiations. I first read this book when I was in an abusive relationship, and it helped me to understand what was really going on and plan to get out.

What quotation have you found inspiring or interesting?
"When we hear the word 'wild,' we know instinctively what it means because we know what it is to be diminished, dulled, caged, and told what our place is meant to be."
- Clarissa Pinkola Estés

What are your musical favorites?
I grew up listening to “oldies” from the 60s, so that is my first love. As a young adult I delved deeper into the music of that era - specifically girl groups like the Shangri-las, The Exciters, and perhaps my favorite - The Tammys. They are so weird and seem to be punk before punk existed. Check out “Part of Growing Up” or the bonkers “Egyptian Shumba.” I also love riot grrrl stuff from my formative years in the 90s - Sleater-Kinney, Bikini Kill, L7, and a lesser known but awesome band called Bangs. I love so much music it will be hard to keep this section short - for their lyrics especially I love bands like The Smiths, Belle & Sebastian, Jonathan Richman. For weird rhythms- The Feelies and Rush. The Pretenders and Fleetwood Mac are all-time faves, and have had a huge influence on my own singing & songwriting. I can’t end this section without mentioning that I live with a wonderful musician whose music I love - Eric Unger. It’s hard to pick a favorite song of his but I’ll recommend “Sing the Saw.”

“Thousand Waves Member Spotlight: Ten Questions for…” is a regular feature of Kiai!
In the next issue, Ian Zeitlin will answer these ten same questions.

It was great to take classes with Kaicho and Nidaime in advance of the test as it allowed for the reconnection to them as individuals - as humans. As persons of reverence, who we acknowledge before all of our classes, they become mythic. Kaicho even more so, as Seido’s founder and the teacher of our teachers. By taking regular classes the day before, I was re-minded of and reconnected to the human side of our Seido Karate.

Heading to NYC a couple of days early also allowed for some fun social adventures in between training and testing. We had some great meals, interesting conversations, and laughs. It was a great opportunity to deepen connections while not wearing our gi.

All of this led to a much more relaxed test. For sure I was, and I think we all were, trepidacious on the train ride out to Johshin Honzan. Upon arrival, we were greeted with good cheer and support. Once the test got underway, I was able to settle into presenting my art with as much spirit as I could. I feel good about my performance and proud of my achieve­ment as well as of those of all my testing comrades.

If you’ve ever taken a class at Honbu, you probably were struck by how much time is allocated to bowing and saying “Osu.” First, we bow in and with an individual bow, we honor Kaicho and Nidaime (whether they are present or not) plus all students sandan rank or above. After the warm-ups we repeat the ritual, making sure to find each senior, wherever they have scattered to within the classroom, calling them out in exact rank order. Then it’s all done a third time at the end of class, and also at the beginning, middle and end of each subsequent class for the day.

For those of you who struggle to see value in this extended bowing ritual, I invite you to view it as a way to honor the history of Seido by recognizing the senior members whose dedicated presence and hard work has kept Seido alive for 47 years. It also reminds those who are honored of their responsibility to show up and set an example for newer people coming up the ranks. By facilitating learning names and titles of the dojo’s major players, this ritual may make it easier for newer members to approach their seniors (knowing how to do so politely) and help them build the mentoring relationships they will definitely need to succeed in their practice.

One fond memory from my early days in Seido was a senior explaining to me WHY I was supposed to say a loud “Osu Kaicho” (or actually “Osu Shihan” as we called him then), when I entered the dojo. They told me that my teachers would come to recognize my voice and have a happy moment when they realized I had shown up to train. Guess what – they were right! That really is what your teachers feel when you say “Osu” as you enter, and we know you have made it to class that day.

Another game-like part of etiquette I was taught was to always be on the lookout for Kaicho, or any teacher’s arrival into a space where I already was - lobby, locker room, training floor. No matter what else I was doing, I was supposed to try to greet them formally with an “Osu” plus their name and title BEFORE they managed to greet me. Eventually I figured out that this was a mindfulness exercise, training me to be alert and aware of my environment, which is of course an invaluable self-defense skill.

Over time, greeting my training mates, both senior and junior, with a bow and an Osu (using their title if they have one) has become an important part of my practice. Especially so if the person in any way facilitates my getting to train -- such as TW’s hard-working front desk staff. It truly pains me to see members walk right past Senpai Jeff, Zoe or John without a greeting or acknowledgement to them of any kind. (Notice that when you reference a list of people with the same title, you only need to use it once at the beginning as it’s assumed to apply to all others in the list.)

Because new members may not know anything about etiquette or understand how it serves us all, when I exchange names with someone new to the dojo, I say “my name is Nancy and my karate title here at the dojo is Shuseki Shihan.” That makes it clear that the title has a context. It says I understand that titles may be part of their work life too (Doctor, Professor, etc.) and suggests I would gladly use their title if I were to interact with them in a professional context.

Many people are confused about the proper use of titles when communicating via telephone or in writing.  In these communications, it is proper to use the same level of formality that you would use in person. For example, I always say “Osu Kaicho, hello” when he calls me, and I use a relatively formal style of letter writing, even in emails. The salutation I use is “Dear Kaicho, Osu!” and I close with a warm but formal sign-off “With love and respect, Nancy.” Note that it is not customary to use your title in communications with those seniors to you, especially to the person who awarded it to you.

Our hierarchical rank relationships carry a clear power dynamic within them, which is the main reason they must be navigated mindfully and have clear parameters to reduce the potential for abuse which would definitely cause harm to the student. However, in our feminist, democratically inclined dojo, some teachers and seniors do forge friendships with other adult, members more junior to them, and these friendships can extend far beyond the two people’s roles in the dojo.

In these special friendship cases, it can be useful for both parties to discuss and agree that when they communicate about something that has to do with their teacher/student or senpai/kohai roles, they will use each other’s titles, but not when they are doing something together that has nothing to do with karate.

Those of us who serve in formal leadership groups at the dojo, like the Board of Directors, the Council of Senior Leaders, and the Self-Defense Teacher Corps have in recent years begun to explore not using titles with each other in our meetings in order to stress the collaborative, democratic nature of our work within those bodies, and it’s my impression that that is feeling pretty good for all involved.

I imagine the art of using or not using titles in our communications with each other to respect tradition and empower us all will continue to evolve. For now, approach these decisions with a thoughtful, flexible frame of mind, and if you feel unsure about the proper etiquette in any situation, know that it’s always appropriate to ask for clarification.

Self-defense became part of the legal name chosen by the non-profit formed out of The Women’s Gym in 2001: Thousand Waves Martial Arts & Self-Defense Center, NFP.

And self-defense has been an integral part of programming at Thousand Waves, from training the Pink Angels, unarmed volunteers who patrolled the streets of North Halsted Street in the early 1990s to prevent violence targeting gay men, to equipping emergency room and hospital personnel with the skills they needed to deescalate threatening patients and family members 30 years later.

Today Thousand Waves is helping lead a global Empowerment-based Self-Defense movement. In August SS Nancy and Senpai Marti Mendoza traveled to upstate New York to participate in an international gathering hosted by ESD Global. SS Nancy was tapped to participate in an “Incubator” which forged a vision for the next seven years of the ESD global movement. Senpai Marti completed a week-long intensive training to become a Level One Instructor.

“I’m excited to join the team of self-defense instructors to continue teaching the tools and skills needed to empower and create awareness against dangerous situations,” Marti said.

Additionally, Senpai Marti has been hired as Thousand Wave’s new Empowerment Self-Defense Coordinator. “I’m excited to be able to again have staff dedicated to the work and I look forward to building a strong, sustainable ESD program at Thousand Waves with Marti,” said Executive Director Ryan Libel.

The self-defense program at Thousand Waves is slated to expand significantly in 2024, with four 12-hour on-site courses along with four 3-hour workshops for adults (ages 15 and up) as well as three workshops for children and tweens.

During the years without dedicated self-defense staff, Sensei Ryan has been directing the program almost single-handedly. For him, it’s “powerful, meaningful work. Sometimes in our ESD classrooms there's a moment when you see a switch go off in students. They connect with their power and internalize the principles - it can be during a verbal skills or physical skills exercise. They see and feel how powerful this stuff is and it changes them. That palpable switch feeds me and is a major reason I continue in the work.”