Ten years ago for this very newsletter I had a conversation with Kyoshi Katherine Nichols on the occasion of our respective 10 and 20 years in the art. As I looked it over again I’m struck by the ways the themes of our practice we discussed continue to grow in me. Using our art for healing, to deepen our empathy for fellow humans, to better understand suffering and the challenges all humans face. I also rejoiced at that time that unlike my other physical pursuits, my physical martial art remained on an upward trajectory as I pushed 40 – here now pushing 50, I have to admit that’s no longer the case!

But our art and community still feed me, as they do so many others, from 10th kyu to 7th dan, from five-year-olds to seventy-somethings, from non-training parents and spouses, to students who’ve taken a single Self-Defense workshop. Our recent success in surpassing our $100,000 fundraising goal for our annual Spirit Challenge fundraiser illustrates the fact that mine is just one of hundreds of Thousand Waves Seido Karate-ka stories - people only raise that kind of money for organizations that mean something special to them.

Next year Thousand Waves will celebrate our 40th anniversary. It’s clear to me that the vision that Shuseki Shihan Nancy had when she created the Women’s Gym is the same one that hooked me 20 years ago and the same one that sustains our community to this day. Whether you joined us last week or have been around since the beginning, thank you for all you do to make our organization special.

Osu,

Sensei Ryan
Executive Director/Branch Chief

What is one thing you’d like to change about the world?

I would like to see all of us, city and country, to be more respectful and tolerant of one another instead of chasing after status, money, and power. I want to see a world where my (now former) South Side students can experience a bright and prosperous future!

What is one thing you do well?

I am good at crafting and telling stories. I am a filmmaker, primarily an editor and I love the process of working the story into shape.

What is one thing you do not do so well?

I have severe ADHD. The practical result of that is a sometimes complete inability to get things done. A common ADD coping mechanism is to use “Doom” boxes: Don’t organize, only move. I probably have 25-30 boxes stacked up. I’ve been offered help in organizing them but I am hesitant to force others to suffer what I go through.

From history, who do you admire and why?

I admire Franklin D. Roosevelt for his canny and compassionate leadership of our country through 2 turbulent time periods in our nation’s history. I just finished a couple of good biographies of his. I admire Abraham Lincoln for many of the same reasons. And I admire Benjamin Franklin for those reasons and his unrelenting scientific curiosity and devotion to Enlightenment principles. He would have totally understood laptops! His behest, the Franklin Fund has only recently fulfilled its mandate to help our society. I know that none of these individuals are perfect human beings, but neither am I.

Other than Chicago, where have you most enjoyed spending time?

I very much enjoy planting myself anywhere on a Michigan dune beach with a good book, but probably Ludington State Park more than others! It has miles of dune trails, a canoe/kayak trail I love, and a warm water river where I like to snorkel and follow the sturgeon around.

What quotation have you found inspiring or interesting?

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” - Mark Twain

What foods do you like best?

Having lived in New Orleans, my favorite foods are the many gumbos and Red Beans and Rice. Aleks, my wife, makes a Green Gumbo, which can be vegan, which I consider my “desert isle” dish. In New Orleans it is considered a Good Friday dish, with the tradition that as many greens you put into the pot, that is how many friends you will make in the upcoming year.

What book has been significant to you?

I can’t stop at one! A book that is a constant compass in my life is “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. Yes it’s a self-help book but the “Agreements” are concise and helpful:

“Be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, do not make assumptions, and always do your best.”

My favorite fiction is “Love in the Time of Cholera” by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Turns out I’m an old romantic after all. I don’t think I’ve read it in almost 40 years; I think I’m due for a re-read!

My favorite non-fiction is “Roosevelt’s Secret War: FDR and WWII Espionage”.

Who are your musical favorites?

I love my bands, both old and new! Velvet Underground and The Bonzo Dog Band, both of which inspired me to start a band, and Papas Fritis, The Apples in Stereo, The Feelies, and my band The Ninnies. If you ask, I’ll share with you. I’m currently re-learning music and trying to get “my chops back!

“Thousand Waves Member Spotlight: Ten Questions for…” is a regular feature of Kiai! We will hear from Chris Confederat in the next issue.

I really love the 12-hour course, and I believe and hope that it does hold up well. There have been and will always continue to be adjustments and revisions, but the core concepts and skills remain the same, and seem to still resonate with students. One thing that is great about the 12-hour course, as opposed to the 3-hour intro, is that we have time to build comradery as a group, and people have an opportunity to go away, live a little bit of life, reflect, and come back.

Teaching adults about life skills is complicated and I always want to be sure to recognize the wisdom in the room. I used to be a deeply shy person who didn’t know what her boundaries were, much less how to assert them. As a parentalized eldest of five children in a family where both parents had mental health struggles, all of my instincts were deeply co-dependent. I know that I use my self-defense training daily, in terms of learning how to recognize and express boundaries. I also have come to truly believe that “clear is kind” and that being assertive is an important tool in peacemaking.

Reflections from Jessica Wynne:

This course gave me confidence to believe I can ask for things I need in my close relationships and at work. I have struggled in the past with feeling like my voice matters. It helped me to understand that if I am strong enough to examine the hard topics and to learn the physical aspects of the course, then I am strong enough to do the hard work of speaking up.

Fortunately so far I’ve had positive experiences when sharing my experiences and asking for what I need. Some of my closest relationships are more trusting and supportive now. However I feel like I am stronger after taking the course in understanding where my boundaries are and would be more comfortable enforcing them if it was not as positive of an outcome.

Reflections from Mary Foley:

I was hoarse after our self-defense course’s graduation gauntlet. So, it was a bit of a shock to realize that I was the source of a strong “Hey!” and “Back off!” booming across the hospital cafeteria the very next week. It’s not uncommon for me to quickly intervene in escalating or erupted violence among patients, visitors, or staff - it’s clear to me that I am responsible for doing so at work. However, it was a completely new experience to have a loud voice as a ready and familiar tool and not get stuck worrying about the perfect thing to say. I was glad to have attracted attention, because as I was in my defender’s stance between the two people, I heard the threat of a knife. Luckily, the incident ultimately required little use of advanced physical skills. Afterwards, I was judging myself harshly for feeling like talking about the episode rather than just getting on with other tasks. When I remembered that “tell” has its own finger, I was able to reframe my urge to connect as natural and helpful.

The course felt extremely useful as an approach to physical violence. In terms of interpersonal rights and responsibilities and issues of disrespect, my personal landscape of privilege and oppression still makes decision-making a bit muddier. When discomfort is at a 4 or 5 out of 10, an individual has to make a slew of calculations about priorities and risks for each unique circumstance. Since the course, though, I have been experimenting with being more proactive about noticing and taking action in response to lower level internal distress signals. For instance, when a colleague was raising his voice and talking over me, I first told him I was uncomfortable with those behaviors, and, when they escalated, I “ran” by firmly saying that we should talk another time. He reacted to this with a massive temper tantrum to the CEO, and the important project we were discussing remains unfinished… experiment ongoing. A lot of conflict-related decisions are ultimately rather lonely, but the camaraderie I felt with fellow participants and course leaders is a real boost of motivation to continue learning and growing.

Reflections from Rebecca Bishop:

I struggle with Impostor Syndrome. What right do I have to tell people what to do? Surely, someone else knows this better than me, so anything I say is either obvious or useless.

As Thousand Waves sought to bring the Empowerment Self-Defense program back from its pandemic induced hiatus, I was the odd gal out – everyone else on the team having either taught or at least taken the 12-hour course in the past. But the idea of self-defense as an empowerment technique, and not just defensive fighting, was massively appealing to me. After taking the 3-hour workshop, I had a much greater appreciation for the program and knew I had to stick with it. I learn best by observing, so I sat in as a volunteer for many more workshops, mostly holding pads and partnering in when necessary. During this most recent iteration of the 12-hour course, this was still my primary role, but I was able to help guide some of the small group discussions and keep folks on track.

The concept of being assertive is one of the core practices of ESD. I am striving to be assertive with my boundaries and with my forward facing interactions, but I believe it is most important to realize that everything must start with being assertive with myself. There is a limit to what can be passively absorbed before I must step up and own what I want or need to do. And that can be terrifying. But instead of focusing on what I don’t know, I am trying to embrace what I do know, and use that understanding as a stepping stone to further growth. I don’t have to be an all-knowing, immovable bedrock of wisdom. There is no such thing as perfect knowledge. Understanding my own weaknesses helps me empathize with others who may be struggling in the same way.

My favorite author Neil Gaiman once said, “the one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision.” (from Gaiman’s “Make Good Art” speech given May 17, 2012) I want people to come away from an Empowerment Self-Defense course feeling like they have tools to own their vision. I want to help give them those tools. My goal for the future is to step up my ability to lead and inspire others because my own journey is strengthened by theirs.

Reflections from Senpai Leslie Buxbaum:

What’s been resonating with me from both the course and Sensei Pat’s meditation talk a few weeks ago is a more expansive sense of self-defense. I came in with a narrow view of self-defense pertaining to violence and traumatic situations. Now I’ve been thinking about its applicability to everyday interactions. An important idea came up for me when we were doing a role play in which someone insists on helping to carry groceries into an apartment, not taking no for an answer. It made me aware of the ineffective and potentially dangerous ‘plateau of politeness’ – to not be willing to shift into a firm and boundary-setting tone when the polite “no thank you” hasn’t worked.

I also found the discussion about relationship conversations and conflict to be useful and relatable. In those everyday scenarios I was challenged by the recognition that sometimes I’m the instigator. When looking at self-defense not in the extreme violent situations but rather in everyday issues of disrespect, listening & not listening, conflict, and (non)communication, the roles of who is provoking and who is ‘victim’ can be fluid. Alas I am not always the peacemaker. That is humbling and motivates me to commit to the principles of karate, especially as they relate to self-defense.

I also became sadly aware of how some problematic ideas about shame are deeply ingrained in me, which I attribute to growing up in the 1970s. I know how vital it is to undo these (for myself, and as a parent and teacher).

Lastly, I’m working on moving through the world with more awareness of what’s going on – not just for my own safety but for others -- choosing to turn my senses and attention outward instead of inward. I really appreciated doing the course, and the added excellent benefit of growing closer with all the participants. Osu!

As in many past years, the most wonderful takeaway for me was getting to connect with my own TW colleagues and senior students on a deeper level. I also loved reconnecting with dear friends from all around the country with whom I share a special bond through our shared love of training and teaching. I’m always inspired to see master teachers in action, and I had several opportunities to do so at the conference this year.

Lastly, given the conflicts and infighting that have plagued so many feminist organizations that I’ve been a part of, it was wonderful to witness the collaborative teamwork of the all-volunteer board of directors that produced this gathering – a reminder to us all of the importance of calling people in rather than calling them out.

Reflections from Sensei Pat Broughton:

In my quest to be a better self-defense teacher, I eagerly accepted Shuseki Shihan’s invitation to participate in the 2024 AWMAI conference. The most useful class I took was one offered by Clara Porter, MSW on creating a trauma-informed classroom. The most fun class was a Kyokushin basics class taught by Soke Nahid Farzinzad.

I deeply appreciated the opportunity to meet and take instruction from some of the most accomplished women martial artists in the country. I was awed and inspired by their art and their dedication to the martial arts.

Reflections from Senpai Marti Mendoza:

As a newly certified self-defense instructor (ESD Global Certification in August 2023) and as the new TW Self-Defense Coordinator, I was eager to attend the AWMAI conference and learn anything I could. The class that I found most useful in terms of self-defense was “Creating a Trauma-Competent Classroom” by Clara Porter MSW. I was somewhat surprised that there were not more classes focused on self-defense, but I did enjoy re-connecting with some extremely accomplished women martial artists from the US and beyond. It was wonderful taking their classes and getting the opportunity to have some wonderful conversations with them. It was such an inspiring weekend and I felt empowered by the years of dedication and the decades of training of these amazing women martial artists.

They are all role models in my eyes!

Reflections from Sensei Lucia Frisancho:

The Hall of Fame induction ceremony was the moment of this year’s AWMAI conference that has stuck with me the most. Seeing women who have practiced and taught martial arts for over 40, 50, and 60 years be honored for their work was very inspiring to me as a young woman stepping into a major leadership role in our dojo. Getting to meet and train with these women over the course of the conference honestly left me a little starstruck. Their wealth of knowledge and masterful teaching is incredible, and hearing the stories of how they fought to create a place for themselves in the martial arts community puts into perspective aspects of my own training that I have taken for granted. Growing up within the feminist paradigm of Thousand Waves, I never questioned the notion that martial arts can and should be for everyone. I am now reminded that this culture was built intentionally, and that maintaining our level of inclusivity takes conscious effort. As I think about my own leadership position, I am grateful to the women who came before me and the foundation they built which has made it possible for me to be here. I am also committed to expanding our understanding of gender equality within our dojo and in the broader martial arts community.

Reflections from Senpai Lauren Bushnell:

As someone who practices multiple martial arts, both external and internal, I always appreciate training opportunities where it is permissible (and encouraged) to let go of all the details that separate different styles and focus on what they have in common.

So naturally, I was drawn to taking Shinshii Janet Aalf’s class, Connecting Martial Arts Systems, and Master Wasentha Young’s, Invoking Imagery Into Your Teaching of Movement. Both classes allowed for exploration of different types of movement, and sharing of ideas by a diverse array of practitioners. Shinshii Janet’s observations that all martial arts are about healing, self-expression, and self (or community) protection have really stuck with me, and have challenged me to look for ways to balance these aspects in my own practice and teaching.

I also really enjoyed watching the performance – in particular the beautiful and inspiring fan piece that Lisa Santi performed with her daughter and granddaughter. Lisa was being honored for her 40+ years of dedication to training and teaching, and her parents were in attendance. It was truly moving to see how martial arts has impacted 4 generations of her family – I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house!

Photo credits: Michele Curley; Tih Penfil (from the Facebook AWMAI page)

Our participation in Pride has been one of the more jubilant ways that Thousand Waves enacts our mission of fitness, healing, empowerment and peacemaking, and expresses our commitment to social justice. While it is celebratory and joyful, our presence at Pride is also a serious statement of solidarity in the continued fight for LGBTQ+ rights. And while LGBTQ+ Pride is the central theme, the collection of signs* we have carried bears an even broader message: that the struggle for justice is intersectional.

*Thousand Waves Pride Signs

• Be an Ally for Peace
• Black Lives Matter
• Drag is Art
• Justice for Indigenous Peoples
• Open Books | Open Minds | Oppose Book Banning
• Say No to Transphobia & Homophobia
• Stop Hate | Stop Violence
• Stop Islamophobia
• Trans Rights Are Human Rights
• Welcome Immigrants
• Women Fight Back

Viewed together, these signs prompt us to realize, as Grace Lee Boggs said, “the only way to survive is to take care of each other,” and that no matter who we are, our own ability to thrive is bound up with everyone else’s. So while we won’t have the opportunity to march together, we can be grateful for the space our dojo provides to develop physical, mental and spiritual strength, and to practice exercising power ethically, engaging in partnership thoughtfully, and being in community peacefully. We can also consider how our training and skills can help us deal with specific issues, such as the alarming surge of anti-LGBTQ+ attitudes, policies and legislation in our country.

There are currently over 500 anti-LGBTQ+ bills in the U.S. This includes the 6 in Illinois which are proposing a (narrow and binary) re-definition of sex, barriers to healthcare, and other civil rights restrictions that represent threats to the physical, mental, and emotional safety of the LGBTQ+ community. I only need to have taken one of the excellent Thousand Waves self-defense workshops to know it is a critical time to review the Five Fingers of Self-Defense. Here are some ideas about how we might apply the first two:

Think

• Find out more about LGBTQ+ history and the current landscape of issues that particularly affect the LGBTQ+ community. (BTW--Did you know that as of July 2020 IL law requires that U.S. history curriculum in public schools “include study of the roles and contributions of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people in the history of this country and this state”?)
• Learn about both traditional and current indigenous conceptualizations of gender and sexuality and the related language. Consider how this may affirm, challenge, or expand your own worldview. (For example, learn about Indigiqueer identity, or the origin of the term Two-Spirit, or the fact that the Cherokee language has 10 different pronouns, all of which are gender neutral--including four different words for the English “we” but no way to say “he”.)
• Reflect on your own positionality as you consider how you can engage in LGBTQ+ advocacy. (How do social and political contexts influence my identity? How does this influence how I am perceived? How does this influence how I perceive the world? What is my relationship to power and privilege?)
• Track the legislation that affects the rights and wellbeing of LGBTQ+ people and explore ways you can take action.

Yell

• Open conversations with people you know to talk about identity and expand understanding about all the many ways of human being.
• Use inclusive language that acknowledges and honors difference, including respecting the pronouns and names individuals ask you to use to refer to them. (This may be a shift and mistakes may happen--correct yourself and move on. And remember, we are used to such things! Our seniors often earn new titles and we must remember to adjust and address them accordingly.)
• Speak up for LGBTQ+ rights. Step up when your voice is needed to address misinformation or to speak out against violent speech, behavior, or policies. (Also be mindful that there will also be moments when it is important to step back--to listen and to yield space for others to tell their own stories, share their particular perspectives, and advocate for themselves.)
• Write to your legislators and let them know where you stand.

Here are some Resources for Multilingual Multicultural LGBTQ+ Communities 2024 I’ve curated (initially as part of my work as a bilingual educator but) that can be useful for some of the Think and Yell suggestions above. The more effort we put into these first two fingers, the less likely we are to need the remaining three.

Sending out gratitude for this community, and wishes to all for a peaceful, joy-filled June!
Osu and happy Pride!