First Children's Self-Defense Day a Success

from the February, 2012 issue of Kiai!

By Jun Shihan Nancy Lanoue
Co-Executive Director

The kids’ uniforms weren’t damp with sweat but their minds worked overtime, pondering their rights and responsibilities with others, and learning how the big ideas we were discussing could apply to their own young lives. 70 kids age five to 12, and over 10 parents participated in TW’s recent Self-Defense Day on February 15th, making the kick-off event a big success.

The aim of this special programming is to educate TW members about the nature of everyday conflict and serious violence that children experience, and provide tools to help kids protect themselves and intervene safely to help others who are targeted. Five Self-Defense Days will be offered in 2012 in Junior and Youth classes. Parents are invited and encouraged to participate. Each class will include age-appropriate discussion and practice of verbal and physical skills from our acclaimed Five Fingers of Self-Defense curriculum.

The first workshop identified four basic human rights – the right to control who touches your body, to be included in activities, to be spoken to respectfully, and to be yourself. We then moved into a nuanced discussion of what each one meant. All agreed that some kinds of touch are obviously hurtful, such as hitting, pushing, poking or tripping. Other kinds are more tricky, like tickling, which can shift in a flash from being nice to not. We shared that adults are never supposed to touch your private areas and then tell you to keep it a secret. If that happens, it’s important to tell an adult that you trust what happened so they can help you.

The kids themselves came up with the responsibilities connected to each right. Because everyone has the right to control who touches their body, we have to ask permission before we hug or kiss someone. We have to call people by the name they prefer and not make fun of the way they look or dress. We discussed how differences of culture, language, religion, gender and sexuality make the world interesting, and considered how to be an ally across these lines that can divide us.

Verbal self-defense skills are hard for everybody – not just kids – so we created a variety of opportunities for kids to practice speaking up and saying what they needed to feel safe and respected. Brave volunteers, some as young as five, stepped forward to demonstrate how to use words to get various problems solved. Scenes we role played included getting a fellow student to move over and give them space in line, dealing with a younger sibling who’s demanding attention when you can’t give it, and intervening when you witness a bully humiliating another child in the restroom at school.

Thanks to all who participated. We welcome any and all feedback and invite those of you who couldn’t make it to join us next time – Thursday, April 12th.