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from the April, 2012 issue of Kiai!

Teaching Children the Value of Perseverance

By Jun Shihan Nancy Lanoue
Co-Executive Director

Like all human beings, children are extremely susceptible to the thrill of the new. Almost any activity they are intrigued by and choose will be fun in the beginning. But bumps in the road are bound to appear. For some, boredom deflates their initial enthusiasm for karate. When you are five and don’t know left from right, you think you know your kata great when actually you’re clueless about the basic pattern, much less the correct form of each technique.

Remembering everything you have learned is no small feat either as you advance up the ranks. Second and third grade brown belts vacillate between maturely accepting the responsibilities of their rank and mourning the loss of games and obstacle courses in their classes.

Then there are the parts of karate that many children fear – like sparring. Or other parts that require study outside the dojo – like learning Japanese words. Or the problem of soccer, baseball or track coaches who require daily attendance at practices. Or when tutoring becomes necessary and enrichment activities are put on hold because grades drop. Or when a parent’s job situation changes, and it becomes difficult to get here during the week.

Given all the potential problems that can and do arise, it’s a wonder any child is able to integrate a disciplined, regular training schedule into their busy life – and sustain it over time! But an amazing number of them do, and almost every single one takes the time in their junior black belt essay to thank their parents for not letting them quit.

If you see value in the life skills and healthy living habits your child is learning at Thousand Waves and want to help them persevere when a reason to quit presents itself, here are some tips:

• Make sure your child gets to the dojo 8-10 times a month – consistently.  This will allow them to learn what they need to learn to earn their belts, feel successful and keep up with their peers. Even adults need regular rewards to maintain their motivation and that’s what the belts are for.
• Remember, a twice a week minimum training schedule also leads to more meaningful relationships with their teachers and fellow students and will increase the fun factor.
• Don’t allow your child to drift away. Hold the line and require them to fulfill their training commitment till they earn their next belt. Promise them that if they still want to quit then, you will let them.
• Talk to us about what is keeping your child away as soon as it interrupts their training schedule. If we know they are resistant to coming, we can reach out when they come to class, ask what their favorite activities are, then make sure to include these.
• When your child finishes class, ask them if they had fun, remind them that they didn’t want to come, and say “aren’t you glad you came to class?”
• Consider our enrichment offerings which the kids love and which make them feel more a part of the community – the mini day camps, summer Camp Kokoro, special workshops, and the upcoming Tournament.

If we work together, we can help your child overcome the inevitable obstacles that will arise in their karate path. And one day, you too will have a black belt in the family. Such an accomplishment is great for the kids’ self-esteem and looks great on applications for schools and other programs.