from the July, 2012 issue of Kiai!

A Conversation with Sherialyn Byrdsong

By Senpai Ryan Libel
Director of Operations

2012 marked the second year that over 50 members of the Thousand Waves community participated in the Ricky Byrdsong Memorial Race Against Hate, put on annually by the YWCA Evanston/North Shore.  The race carries forward the legacy of Ricky Byrdsong, an inspirational figure most known for coaching the Northwestern Wildcats Basketball team for many years, and for his book, Coaching Your Kids in the Game of Life.  His tragic death at the hands of white supremacists during a 1999 killing spree was a profound loss.  During both Races in which I’ve participated, it was extremely inspirational for me personally to hear Sherialyn Byrdsong, Ricky’s wife, address the Race participants.  In thinking about a way to highlight Thousand Waves’ participation in this great event, I hatched a plan to interview Sherialyn, who now lives in Atlanta. The following is from a telephone conversation she graciously agreed to have with me on 7/10/2012.  

Ryan: Who had the original idea for a race in memory of Ricky, and why?

Sherialyn: A couple of months after Ricky’s death, in July of 1999, Mary Ann Malarkey contacted me – of course Ricky was a runner, and Mary Ann was too – she understood the running world and was familiar with how races can take on a cause.  She approached me about having a race to speak out against hate crimes.  I took the idea to my board of directors at the Ricky Byrdsong Foundation, which we had just founded, and they were all excited about the possibility.  The board met with Mary Ann and also John Corrigan, a person who knows how to put on a big race.  Everybody thought it sounded like a good idea, so we tried it the following  June.  That first year we had about 1500 participants.

Ryan: What was the first race like?

Sherialyn: The Race has always been held around Northwestern – the University, the City of Evanston, the Police Departments, all of the involved agencies have always been extremely supportive.   The Aon Corporation, where Ricky had been a director, signed on as the corporate sponsor that first year, [former Aon CEO] Pat Ryan was also very supportive, and Aon was the presenting sponsor for at least the first 8 years of the race.  The Race started as a 5k with a youth mile, and the 10k was added on the 10th anniversary of the Race.

Ryan: I understand the partnership with the YWCA Evanston/North Shore was not an original feature of the Race.  How did your partnership with the YWCA Evanston/North Shore develop?

Sherialyn: The board ultimately saw a partnership as a way to increase the impact of the race – to help it reach more people.  And it’s also true that as the race grew over the years, the Ricky Byrdsong Foundation’s board struggled to handle producing a race of the size it has become.   As I was preparing to move back to Atlanta, again my friend Mary Ann Malarkey, who had helped us with the original idea for the race, had a friend associated with the YWCA in Evanston, and she connected us.  The partnership was a test at first – I got a chance to meet with the CEO, Karen Singer, and her team at YWCA Evanston/North Shore to get to know their mission and their hearts, and over time I felt a real kinship with the organization.  They are a wonderful group of people at the YWCA – it was an answer to prayer to find an organization that had the vision and the manpower to continue the race and help it grow.  I’ve known [Race director] Trimmy Stamell for about 15 years; our kids went to school together!  And would you believe [YWCA Director of Development] Kathy Slaughter went to the same High School I did in Atlanta!

Ryan: That’s unbelievable, what a small world!  They really are great people up there – I’ve had occasion to meet both of them too.  The compatibility of the mission of the YWCA [eliminating racism and empowering women] and our own mission at Thousand Waves is a major reason we decided to participate as a group in the Race.  In thinking about inspiration, do you or did Ricky have any favorite quotes/people who have inspired you?

Sherialyn: Ricky absolutely had a favorite quote – In Ricky’s book Coaching your Kids in the Game of Life, he quotes Charles Swindoll, “I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it.” Ricky definitely believed that our attitude impacts our life.  In his different offices over the years he always had a poster up with that quote. 

Ryan: Would you like to share anything about your children’s involvement in the event or any activism they are interested in?

Sherialyn: One that comes to mind right away is their participation in a program put on by The Anti-Defamation League called “Names can Really Hurt You” in my daughters’ high school – they were panelists at the schoolwide event looking at the harmful nature of harassment – both girls were very involved – they definitely carry on the work in their own ways!

Ryan: I have heard you speak about the Race as a way to turn a terrible tragedy into positive action.  Do you struggle to stay positive as you see the continued problems of systemic racial inequities in our country? 

Sherialyn: Just like Ricky’s favorite quote, it’s true that you have to strive to maintain a positive attitude even though negative things are happening all the time.  We have to ask ourselves how can we turn a negative into a positive?  What kind of positive response can I have to a given bad act or situation?  It’s just a reality of life and the world we live in; there will always be those who do horrible things, but another quote I came across early on after Ricky died talks about the worst kind of evil being when good people do nothing in the face of evil.

Ryan: Thanks for reminding me of that idea – it’s similar to Martin Luther King Jr. writing in his Letter from a Birmingham Jail about the silence of good people being a reason racism was so prevalent.  As we wrap up, I’m curious about what brings you back to Evanston year after year?

Sherialyn: The Race brings me back; it’s an awesome event that just really shows how the community remembers and continues to do its part to turn Ricky’s tragedy into something positive.  It’s inspiring that we all want to take a stand together against hatred, whether it’s bullying or racism or any way that hate manifests itself.  It’s amazing how the race has taken on a meaning that resonates with people, and how they are committed to being there year after year.  That’s special to me, because even though it was a horrible, terrible loss, I think that so much positive energy and a focus on life’s sustaining values has come out of his death.  And thank you all at Thousand Waves, Ryan, for all you are doing in Chicagoland!