from the December, 2013 issue of Kiai!

Meditations on Twelve Words:
Monthly Reflections on Our Practice

By Jeffrey Gore,
Advanced Brown Belt

The 2013 Monthly Meditation Programs at Thousand Waves were devoted to a seemingly simple format, a group meditation and a discussion on a single word – such as Discipline, Healing, Lineage, and Fierceness – facilitated each month by the most experienced members of our community.  In this hour, we left behind our regular focus on physical activities to investigate a word that only became richer upon reflection.    

I’m regularly amazed at how well the diverse initiatives at Thousand Waves seem to integrate with the whole.  For many who have not trained with us, the very fact that we claim to be studying a fighting art as a practice of non-violence requires a little explanation.  The fact that our sparring classes act as a site of self-reflection and community formation – we come to understand ourselves and others while punching and kicking them – raises more than a few eyebrows when we try to explain it. It was in such a dialectical spirit that I encountered the great wisdom shared in our 2013 Meditation Program.  By “dialectical,” I mean that our meditations all centered on a particular word – often, on its face a pure virtue – and yet these concepts also regularly revealed a contradiction, a problem worthy of deliberation, calculation and in-depth conversation, because each of them, like the fighting arts themselves, has the power to harm and the power to heal, to point us along the way to new possibilities. 

Weekly meditation practice is offered every Wednesday night at 7:45 pm. It is free and open to the public.

The bar was set fairly high from the beginning with the first presentation on Discipline by Senpai Margarita Saona.  As a writer and teacher with a second-degree black belt from our school, she spoke knowingly to a knowing audience about the positive aspects of the topic.  Related to the word disciple (or “student”), Discipline, she noted, is the acceptance of training that allows us to modify our habits.  When we pursue and internalize a discipline, we embody a body of learning and we become someone different.  Discipline is empowering.  And yet, as conversations unfolded, members of our group noted that Discipline is often associated with punishment.  We would pay a person a great compliment if we say “she is so disciplined” as we note her accomplishment, and yet few of us would so welcome being “disciplined” by another.  As an avenue to personal empowerment, Discipline is also the way some manipulate others.  Many of us would be proud to acknowledge we are someone’s student, but we might not feel comfortable being referred to as a disciple.  But where do we draw the line between “good discipline” and “bad discipline”? 

As conversation rose to a peak, 9:00 arrived, and it was time to bring this issue to a close.  A similar pattern followed with many of our meditations. 

The discussion on Independence initiated by Senpai Susan Barney focused on the positive aspects of the term:  we only receive the gifts of our teachers when we take responsibility over them as our own, when we become independent with our material, memorize it, perform it without directions, and experience those aspects that are difficult to talk about.  And yet, in a capitalist culture, Independence is often pitted against communities, with the belief held by some that our success comes from our own independent initiative, or that anything is OK so long as it’s “not in my back yard.” Sensei Katherine’s discussion of Ego revealed comparable tensions between Eastern and Western notions of the self.

Sei Shihan Nancy’s discussion of Fierceness drew together an inspiring set of energies:  the motivation to achieve at the highest possible level of her craft and some of the deepest beliefs energizing the women’s martial arts movement, “You are worth defending.”  And yet, as Senpai Ryan Libel noted, for men living in a violent culture this word carries connotations of violent habits some of us are trying to un-learn.  As a man who grew up playing violent sports like football and who was flooded with violent images of masculinity as a child, I find myself gravitating more toward the discussion provided by Sensei Rebecca Angevine on Civility. This tension between Fierceness and Civility was reflected also in Senpai Eric Franque’s discussion on Competition. 

With each of these conversations, the 9:00 hour would arrive, and it would be time to bring the issue to a close.  And yet, they continued in the lobby, the locker rooms, and even on Facebook. 

Within the words themselves, their relationship to other words, and often within ourselves are experiences that reveal tensions, and for one hour a month we worked together to try to sort it all out.  While few of us find anything wrong with Compassion, Senpai Ryan noted that some religiously-inflected messages on Compassion can be voiced by the very same people who contribute to a culture of exclusion.  With some of the words at the center of our Mediations, however, the tension is not dialectical.  These words act as the “battle lines” for our practice.

Once a month during 2013, meditation class was led by a guest facilitator on a single word. In this photo of the
December session led by Sensei Tom on Harmony, attendees compare results of a small-group exercise.

Sensei Martha Thompson’s presentation on Violence drew the group into a discussion on its multiple forms, from the immediately damaging to that which is accepted and banal.  Our Violence Prevention classes at Thousand Waves and her IMPACT courses are dedicated to teaching de-escalation, assertion of boundaries, and other self-defense techniques. Similarly, Senpai Pat Broughton challenged us to recognize that our Fears are not without basis but to consider strategies for empowering ourselves against them.  (She was one of the few Meditation leaders bold enough to assign homework!)  Senpai Pamela Robert reminded us that our practices can take an active role in Healing, whether it is from an injury, a loss, or the various forms of violence that we experience at the hands of strangers and, more often, people we know and even love.  As the 9:00 hour approached with all of these issues, we recognized a limit to what our conversation might accomplish.  It was time to go home.  And yet, the conversations continued in the lobby and beyond, and many of the deeper issues will continue to evolve through our practices as a community. 

As Jun Shihan Sarah Ludden reminded us, one of the richest aspects of our martial arts practice is how it is part of a Tradition, and each of us embody its Lineage.  The very fact that this conversation occurred at Thousand Waves is an expression of its subject matter itself.  Our dojo is different from, but still very connected to, Honbu.  Seido is different from, and no longer connected to, Kyokushin.  And we have other lineages, too.  This summer, I was one of the lucky men who had the opportunity to attend the National Women’s Martial Arts Federation’s first ever Super Saturday.  Among the great classes I took was the “Natural Knife” with Sifu Sonya Richardson, who had been, like Jun Shihan Sarah, a student of Professor Coleen Gragen.  What an honor to take a class with someone who has studied with my teacher’s teacher!

The last of our 2013 Meditations was on Harmony, led by Sensei Tom West on Wednesday, December 4th.  We explored a way to investigate and understand intrapersonal, interpersonal and organizational harmony (and disharmony). Afterward, a large contingent of session attendees reconvened next door at Cooper’s to brainstorm ideas for the monthly meditation programs in 2014. Stay tuned for details!