from the December, 2011 issue of Kiai!

The Road to Jr. Black Belt:
One Family's Journey

By Robin Mordfin
Mother of Junior Shodan Lilit Matar

When I first brought my daughter to Thousand Waves to begin taking classes, having her become a black belt was the furthest thing from my mind. My daughter began in the Little Kicks class, which only occasionally was visited by a Junior Shodan. But when it was, that black belt was considered really cool – by the small orange and white belts and by their parents as well. These teens and preteens all seemed so wise and educated and mature. Simply beyond the space my child inhabited.

Naturally, as time passed, higher belts became a reality for my child. That first real test for blue belt (which in Little Kicks took 70 classes to achieve) seemed like such an enormous undertaking. Together, Lilit and I made cards with all the Japanese words she needed to know and she would study them a couple of times a week. The pretest was nerve wracking – watching her count her way through Seido I was difficult, but she did it.

Tests came and went, but still, black belt seemed an almost unimaginable goal. Some very good students decided to give up karate as Lilit kept studying. And some tests were easier than others. I remember at her advanced yellow belt test she lacked some coordination with her basic self defenses, but she could translate every word thrown out by the proctors.  And while she seemed to be a green belt forever, advanced green belt went by very quickly.

Finally, after four years of study, she had enough classes to take her advanced brown belt exam. Unfortunately, she could not for the life of her, no matter how many times she went over them, remember all of her basic self-defenses. And all those old katas – Seido I and Taikyoko II – kept slipping her mind. She simply was not ready. Two more months passed, and she was out of town for the day the exam. Finally, after four-1/2 years of study, she was ready for that last step before black belt.

Lilit studied her words, she went over her self defenses and she memorized katas every night. Fortunately, she passed, which was pretty impressive because it was a very difficult test. Of course, I didn’t see the whole thing, because every time she got nervous I would go wander around the front of the dojo so she wouldn’t see me worrying for her.

To become a Junior Shodan, after becoming an advanced brown belt, a student needs to put in a year of study, a minimum of 120 classes and know every bit of Seido history, all relevant Japanese vocabulary and the true meaning of the Code of Ethics. 

The intellectual part of study came easily to her. She memorized all her words, she read all of Kaicho’s books and several others on the history of martial arts. Still, despite having described the story of Bodhi Dharma to me in detail the day before her big test, she could only remember scraps of it while standing in front of Jun Shihan and Kyoshi.

Similarly, writing the essay required for the exam was also something Lilit enjoyed. A five page paper did not sound long to her – she had recently written a 12-page paper with citations at school. But when she really started working – and it took her nearly a month to write her paper – she realized that writing about herself and her thoughts was much more difficult to do than writing about the results of some research.

Every night she would work on a couple of paragraphs, some of which she would rewrite, others of which she would discard, until she was happy with the product. It was a lot of work, but she learned a lot about herself.
In contrast, what was most difficult in Lilit’s preparation was physically remembering all of her katas and defenses. As a child who lives largely in her head, the physical demands of karate are very good for her, but they are an enormous challenge. She could do Taikyoko Kata I three times a day for a week and still not remember all the steps in class. Over and over she would work on remembering those darned basic self –defenses, but still they would elude her in in front of her teachers.

Eventually, through a year of repetition, she began remembering everything every time she came to class. Yet there were other challenges on test day. The candidates were asked to perform a previously unseen series of moves during the exam. Several of the other advanced brown belts did it on the first try, but coordination not being her strong suit, it took her five or six tries to get close to getting the combination correct. – far more than anyone else. She was a bit embarrassed and red after that section, but she kept her composure and continued with the test. That was an accomplishment.

This is one of the best things about studying at Thousand Waves – trying new things and being evaluated on your strengths and weaknesses. Each black belt brings his or her own specialness to the amalgamation that is the dojo, so that none are expected to be identical or one of a crowd. Yes, there are standards and yes there is a tremendous amount to know, but what one brings to the knowledge is special.

So my daughter is now a black belt, of which she is vain and proud quite against the philosophy of Seido. But she understands quite clearly that she is not done with karate and that this is just the beginning of her study. She knows that if she wants to really understand karate and become a true karateka, she needs to continue her studies – physically, mentally and spiritually. And fortunately, she is looking forward to doing so.

Part of the reason we enrolled our daughter at Thousand Waves was because we wanted her to be in an environment with very clear moral and ethical teachings. It is the same reason we send her to a religious school and take her to synagogue. We love that Thousand Waves has such an enormous emphasis on how people treat each other, on helpfulness, kindness and charity. It is playing an enormous role in shaping our daughter’s character, and we are genuinely grateful.